Apr 222013

Random searches can be terrifying. You never know what will float to the top, although it’s rarely the cream. On Twitter, you can be 100% certain of unearthing extreme fuckwittery within the first 20 results, even for the most anodyne of search terms.

Just now, “chiro” produced… this. It’s in French, with reasonably good English subtitles, although they rather prudishly translate bite (cock) as penis. Make sure your jaw is well attached as it will probably drop to the ground within seconds and remain there for the duration.

I’m pretty tough, but that? No fucking way, Jimmy. I suspect it’s also pretty dangerous, especially as the nutter with the sharp sticks is concentrating on the spine and base of the skull. One slip of a point on all that oil and I reckon you’re lucky if the customer is merely paralysed. My WTFometer maxed out as soon as the sticks appeared, well before the babble got to the vitalistic lunacy about points in the body being linked to specific emotions, and when he gave us to understand that some of the points hit were erogenous zones I reached for the mind bleach and emptied the bottle.

Yes, it was just afterwards that they mentioned that someone had a sword on his dick. My legs remain firmly crossed.

File under “what the ever-lovin’ fuck”, “dangerous scam” and “pass me the bo, I’ll fucking show ‘em how dangerous sticks can be”.

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